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Jackie Daly, Managing Editor, KBB Magazine

Monday, 1 August 2011

Alien Kitchen Fitters

You disembark from your landing module in full body armour and laden with the latest, most sophisticated array of weaponry known to your species.  You are now 2 clicks from the crew’s quarters and the eerie silence is deafening.  Your mission is to re-establish contact with the crew and explain the lack of radio contact. 
As you make your way into the building through docking hatch C you uncover evidence of a serious disturbance!  The adrenaline levels in your blood stream soar with anticipation as you come across the first body, Flight Lieutenant Smith’s body is heavily mutilated and you are only able to establish his identity by his tags.  As you move towards the mess hall you find the other crew members all in a similar state to Smith and buried in a 500mm deep layer of purple smoke! 
As you move into the kitchen area you establish that the layout plan you have been working off no longer agrees with what you now see before you, the solid oak, raised panelled kitchen with 3 piece cornices has been replaced with something much more menacing and futuristic.  This installation is not of your world!  This is a transformer, an alien art installation with islands that are carefully configured to align with the star clusters on each side of the wormhole you just travelled through!
You realise that this is an exceptional find and decide to bring it back to earth so that the technology can be studied and developed for human use!  As you blast off for Earth with the kitchen safely stored in the cargo hold you remember that you should have repatriated the crew members...obviously the alien kitchen has blurred your judgement!!
Guess you’ll have to reschedule a new mission! 

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